Blood Brothers
by Kung-Fu Henny
Summary: Naruto finds a relative of his early on proving he has family out in the big, bad world, but it seems he brought an Uzumaki-sized problem along with him. Secrets that can take down two of the five great Elemental nations lie within this boy, but Naruto could care less about that. He's just glad to have family; glad to have a brother.


**Blood Brothers**

For anyone that cares to read this story (or this note for that matter), I appreciate it. You could've chosen anyone else in the world to kill 30 minutes of your day, and you allowed me to waste it for you. Kudos to you. I'm new at this. I've always liked to read stories on this site, but never published one until now, so here it is. I hope you enjoy and constructive criticism is welcome!

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!** Masashi Kishimoto-sama does…the jerk.

"Normal Speech"

' _Normal Thoughts'_

" **Bijuu/Enraged Speech"**

' _ **Bijuu/Enraged Thoughts'**_

 **Jutsu** (Element: Technique)

 **Chapter One: Blood Brothers**

* * *

October 10th. It was the seventh anniversary of that catastrophic day, and one would think the peace-loving denizens of Konohagakure no Sato (the Village Hidden in the Leaves) incapable of holding a grudge that long. One would be wrong. In fact, everyone would be wrong. At least the little blond boy skulking through the heart of the village believed so. Voicing his objections to the matter hadn't yielded any positive results for him in the past; in fact doing so usually ended with him running for his life from an angry mob of villagers. It certainly didn't help his cause that most of the villagers would be wielding weapons; anything from pitchforks, kitchen knives, hammers, and high-grade weapons, marking the presence of the occasional shinobi, seemed to be fair game when it came to him.

The boy stood at an unimpressive four feet tall with a slight, seemingly malnourished frame. His deep cerulean blue eyes, which would usually shine with mirth, were clouded with fear and paranoia as he moved from alley to alley. He wore an orange t-shirt with a black Leaf Village symbol on the front, baggy navy blue cargo shorts, and a pair of well-worn blue sandals on his feet. His skin that was a bit tanner than most by Konoha's standard, yet his most distinctive trait(s) were the three whisker marks that sat upon each of the little boy's cheeks. The boy's name was Uzumaki Naruto, and it was his seventh birthday.

He wasn't expecting a cake and presents like other children his age. He wasn't expecting a 'surprise' party with family and friends waiting to pop up from behind counters and couches with balloons and party favors while he pretended to not have noticed them when he entered. Considering the manner in which these people had treated him in the past, Naruto almost didn't expect to have a home to return to; it wouldn't have been the first time someone had tried to destroy it.

Naruto had learned to avoid the villagers around this time of year. It seemed that the closer it got to his birthday, the crankier people would become, especially in his presence. Their hostility towards the whiskered blonde would gradually increase until it boiled over on his birthday. The only thing about this time of year that Naruto could take solace in was that their annual hate-fest in his honor allowed him to garner much more attention for himself than they would bother to pay for the rest of the year. Though he found that particular train of thought needy and lacking in self-esteem, he wouldn't deny it as being a morbid truth.

He expected this. He dreaded this. He prayed to avoid the notice of civilians and shinobi alike who were old enough to remember who and what were lost on this day seven years ago. The annual Yondaime Festival, which was being held in the center of the village near the Hokage Tower, was a breeding ground for hatred in his eyes. Naruto was determined to keep out of the sight of the hungry eyes of the people who would hunt him for sport on this day every year without even cluing him in as to why. However, no matter how fast he'd ran nor how loudly he'd screamed, this unsightly scene had been his hell of a life for as long as he could remember.

Yet, Naruto felt that this year would be different. 'No way I'll willingly be a sitting duck for them. Not today. Not ever again, -ttebayo!' Naruto thought as he made his way through the village with a small pack holding everything he would need for the night slung over his shoulder.

Naruto ran as fast as his short legs would allow. Heart pounding, and the adrenaline coursing through his body, the little Uzumaki rushed through streets, down alleys, and past almost every house in the civilian district of Konoha.

Eventually Naruto reached the village's northern gate. He was hiding between two buildings scouting the two gate guards. One had spikey black hair with white bandages covering the bridge of his nose and the upper half of his cheekbones. The other guard had short brown hair, which was covered by the bandana he used to hold his hitai-ate. Both guards were wearing the navy blue Konoha shinobi uniforms and olive green flak vests that signified their status as Chunin.

"Geez, who did we piss off to get this assignment, Izumo?" The spikey-haired Chunin asked his partner, "Seriously, no one comes through here, and it's not like we're protecting some important strategic position from anyone. The only thing near this gate is the Red-light District for Kami's sake!"

The now named Izumo turned to his longtime friend with a lazy expression on his face, "Simmer down, Kotetsu. It's our first long-term joint assignment, and it's inside the village. This is where Hokage-sama assigned us to be for now, so as long as we do our jobs, and by that I mean do absolutely nothing, we can collect some decent pay and bide our time until he thinks we're ready for something better. It 's the ninja equivalent of a cushy desk job with benefits, so stop whining." Izumo said, silently praying that his partner would finally leave the matter alone. However, he knew Kotetsu too well to allow himself to get his hopes up.

"But Izumo, this isn't what we joined the shinobi corps for! We became shinobi to kick ass in service of our village, have great adventures and make a name for ourselves. Hell, I envisioned myself having saved three princesses by now." Kotetsu continued to rattle off items from his childish hero's checklist as Izumo gave him a deadpan look.

"Kotetsu, you're a grown-ass man. Lay off the manga and Princess Gale movies."

As Naruto spied on the two gate guards, he noticed them stop their bickering upon spotting a potential guest of the village and begin to open the gate to allow a visitor into the village. 'There,' he thought, 'this is my best chance to get out of here for the night.' Naruto waited for the guards to become distracted by the visitor and then scurried through the entrance before the gate could be closed.

~ One hour earlier – Clearing in Outskirts of Konoha ~

'So tired.' Thought a small redheaded boy trudging slowly in the same direction he had been for days. The boy was wearing a grey t-shirt with a white spiral on the back that was drenched in sweat and clung tightly to his small frame, black cargo pants, black wristbands on each wrist and black sandals that appeared rather worn. His straight, ruby red hair came down to the nape of his neck in the back and hung over his eyebrows and just above his violet eyes in the front.

He knew that initially after his escape he had been traveling southwest, but not much aside from that. He had been running for days since he'd left Kumogakure and made it out of Kaminari no Kuni. He just hoped to finally make it to another village where he could rest.

'Rest…sounds better the more I think about it.' The redhead wistfully thought as he imagined himself relaxing in a nice warm bed after a hot shower with a stocked fridge…he then promptly slapped himself out of his daze.

"Come on Daichi, keep yourself together! You can't keep thinking about that stupid bed, hot water, good food, a working TV an-" Another resounding smack sounded out in the clearing the now named Daichi was standing in.

With a stinging cheek and a wistful sigh, Daichi continued in the direction he had been walking until 30 minutes later when his eyes began to droop unexpectedly, he began to falter in his steps, and he felt his body shutting down after having been on the move for three days straight. Only pure will and determination (and the occasional power nap) had kept him moving for as long as he had without much sleep.

After fighting his body's desperate plea for rest, which had been days in the making at that point, Daichi finally wobbled and fell flat on his face in a clearing within an unfamiliar forest.

~ With Naruto ~

While making his escape through the village gates, Naruto turned over his shoulder to cast one last victorious glance at the bumbling gate guards still bickering with each other. After taking a half second to bask in his stealthy glory, the blond continued further into the forest that served as his home's barrier from the outside world since its birth.

~ Inside Konoha Forest ~

"Whoa…" Naruto marveled at the mammoth trees that made up Konoha forest. Being only seven years old with no parents to take him on vacations or trips outside of the village, Naruto was determined to soak in his first experience outside of Konoha's walls.

After about 30 minutes of simply observing the flora and fauna that called Konoha Forest home, Naruto found himself nearing the edge of a clearing. He sprinted headlong into the clearing with a wide grin and bright eyes eager to make his next discovery of the outside world. After adjusting his eyes to the peach-tinted light that the sun bathed the clearing in as it neared dusk, Naruto noticed what appeared to be a red-haired boy lying face down in the grass. As Naruto crept closer to the unconscious kid, a noise akin to a forced choke made its way to his ears.

Fearing that he was hearing the other boy choke in his sleep, Naruto rushed over and flipped him over as quickly as he could which jostled the boy awake.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Naruto, screaming at the top of his underdeveloped lungs as he was, could finally say that he'd made a discovery in Konoha Forest that made him regret his impromptu camping trip; that being the angry looking dark brown tarantula sitting on the chest of the red-haired boy he was making an attempt to save.

The tarantula looked none too pleased at having its makeshift home flipped over and screamed at for 30 seconds straight. In Naruto's mind, there weren't many things higher on the list of things that could have ruined his field trip to the forest than this, "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" So, he continued screaming.

On the other side of the super-sized arachnid, Daichi was screaming because…well, how else should he have reacted to another kid waking him up from his unconscious slumber by screaming maniacally inches from his face?

After a solid one and a half minutes of embarrassingly ear-splitting screams, Naruto finally found the presence of mind to have mercy on the red-haired kid and punt the spider on his chest at least 50 yards in a random direction.

Staring at the fading form of the spider as it disappeared past the tree line, Naruto caught his breath and lifted both arms straight up in the air, "It's good!" He said before looking down at the other boy that had looked up to him after having just watched him put the boots to the pest that was clinging to his torso.

"So, quick question...was that what I think it was?"

"Umm, if you think it was a spider the size of your head that looked so unnatural that it would've probably given you super powers had it felt more like biting you than using you as a fleshy sleeping bag, then yes. It was exactly what you thought."

"I see…aaaaAAA-Mmph!"

"Yeah…let's not start that again please," Naruto deadpanned while muffling the other kid's mouth with his hand to prevent another round of terrified screams. "You done yet?" Naruto asked a few seconds later only to receive a single nod in response, "Good!" He chirped happily as he released his grip on the other boy's face.

After making a show of spitting onto the ground, the crimson-haired kid stood wiping at his mouth with his forearm, "Hey, why don't you ask next time before you just throw your hands over another kid's mouth? That's just gross; and by 'that' I mean you. You're gross." He finished causing a tick mark to appear on Naruto's forehead as Daichi began checking himself over to make sure this random kid in the forest hadn't done anything to him while he was passed out.

"Why don't you show a little more grati-gratuh-…um…be glad I saved your life!" Naruto shot back indignantly. Let it never be said that Naruto ever found a word he didn't like, only those he couldn't pronounce.

"Simple, I didn't ask you to. Who are you and why are you here anyway? Don't you have parents or do they just let random kids like you frolic in the forest all by themselves where you're from?" Daichi asked.

Daichi noticed Naruto's facial expression become downcast as he spoke, "No, actually I don't have any parents," Well crap, Daichi didn't mean to throw the kid's recently revealed orphan status in his face. He opened his mouth to apologize, but was cut off as Naruto continued, "But at least I live around here. Looking at your clothes and that weird hair color, I know I've never seen you before, or anyone that looks like you. So, the better question is who are you and why are _you_ here?"

Growling a bit and failing to completely ignore the jab at his hair color, Daichi calmed himself enough to see where the kid was coming from. He wasn't from around there and he didn't know enough about the place to pretend that he was so the blonde kid had been spot on with his assumptions on that front. Eh, what was the harm in answering his question? Worst comes to worst, he could always just knock him out and be out of there long before he woke up.

"I guess it is bad manners to ask a name without offering your own first, even if it's the jerk that woke me up screaming his face off," Daichi grumbled, "Anyway, my name is Daichi Uzumaki. How about yourself?" Daichi asked noticing the look on Naruto's face shift to abject shock.

"Did you just say…Uzumaki?" Naruto said not wanting to let himself believe that what he had just heard was even remotely possible. He'd had dreams that started off in a similar manner. Unfortunately, he'd also had nightmares that began the same way, which caused a hint of doubt to creep into his heart.

"Uh, yeah. It's my name. Are you going to make fun of that like you did my hair?" Daichi said feeling a bit annoyed and unnerved by the other kid's stare. He began to fear that he'd made a mistake in giving his family name, especially after hearing stories from his Father about how much weight the Uzumaki name used to carry across the continent and how all of that fame worked out for his ancestors in the end.

"No! I mean, no I'm not. I just didn't expect it, that's all. My name is Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto said reaching out to help Daichi up. This new development caused Daichi's eyes to widen much the same way Naruto's had before as he realized just why he reacted as he did.

"Whoa…dude, I think we're related."

"I know… I've never had family before, at least none that are alive and I can actually talk to…this is so cool! I can't wait to tell Jiji about this! Oh, that's right you've got to come with me to meet him! He'll be super excited to meet you too. I can just feel it!" Naruto prattled on getting progressively louder and closer to Daichi as he continued speaking.

At the mention of being brought to meet Naruto's "Jiji" Daichi interjected, "Hey now, pump the brakes, Naruto. I thought you just told me that you didn't have any living family. Who's 'Jiji'?" Daichi asked honestly confused at the inconsistency in Naruto's words.

A look of realization appeared on Naruto's face as he understood just how what he said could be taken as him contradicting himself. "Oh, Hokage-Jiji's not my actual grandpa, just the leader of my village. He still treats me really nice and he's the closest thing to family I've had since I can remember. Come on, I'll take you to meet him. Konoha's just 20 minutes back this way if we move quickly." Naruto said already beginning to walk in Konoha's direction and seemingly forgetting the reason for his forest voyage in the first place.

Daichi, however, was still trying to add the situation up in his seven year old mind. "So the Hokage, meaning the most powerful person in your village, is the only one close enough to you to be considered family and you're just going to take me to him? Just like that? Won't you get in trouble for barging into a Kage's office?" Daichi asked bewildered at Naruto's nonchalant attitude and seeming lack of respect for the most powerful person in the country, shinobi or otherwise. "I mean, I was heading to Konoha anyway, but-"

"Great! Then that just makes this that much simpler. Come on!" Naruto exclaimed as he grabbed Daichi's arm and started pulling him towards his home.

"W-wait a minute! Let me at least finish checking myself over! I've been in this forest for over a day and passed out for half of that time. Something probably laid eggs in my ear for all I kno- dammit, slow down!" Daichi exclaimed, as he was drug out of the clearing and in the direction of his original destination by his ecstatic relative.

As they made their way through the greenery towards Konoha, Naruto noticed how Daichi had said that he had been in the forest for over a day. He took an extra glance at the large pack on his back and how dirty and worn his clothes seemed to be and considered asking about this, but thought better of it and continued running excitedly towards the village.

More than anything, his new family member needed some rest and he was more than willing to have a houseguest for once. Though, the first stop would be the Hokage tower to let Jiji know the good news.

Unseen by both boys, a single ANBU in a dog mask watched over them from the tree limbs above with a look of unadulterated shock on his face underneath the mask. ' _Hokage-sama is going to want to hear this and soon.'_ The ANBU thought as he continued to tail the children until reaching the village gates where he shot off to the Hokage tower with a great sense of urgency after watching them sneak back in through Izumo and Kotetsu's gate.

' _Hokage-sama is also going to want to hear about the lazy Chunin letting 7-year-olds slink in and out of the village gates. Hapless jackasses.'_ The ANBU rolled his eyes as he continued his travel towards the Hokage Tower.

~ Hokage Tower ~

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, was an elderly man in his late 60's. He had tanned wrinkled skin that had been seasoned by decades of battles and two wars. The parts of his head that had not been shaven by Kami's clippers were covered in hair that was a sea of grey with small strips of dark brown here and there. He also had a few brown liver spots on his head that belied his old age.

"Kami-forsaken pile of useless drivel," the aged Hokage grumbled, as he pondered for neither the first or last time how he found himself back in the line of fire of the Civilian Council's imbecilic requests, _'If only these old bones had been a bit quicker, you would still be here, Minato. You'd be here to corral your prankster son and keep these idiots out of the little hair that I haven't pulled out yet.'_ He thought with a sigh followed by a light wheeze.

Hiruzen dearly missed his successor, and knew that he was merely a single name on the laundry list of others that did so as well. His greatest regret from that dreadful night was that he had been too slow to take Minato's place in using the **Kinjutsu Ōgi: Shiki Fūjin** (Forbidden Secret Technique: Reaper Death Seal). Following the tragic events that led to Minato's death, Hiruzen scrambled to find a suitable replacement to take the seat. After ruling out his students, Jiraiya and Tsunade for various reasons, he knew that the responsibility of leading Konoha in the Yondaime's place would fall squarely upon his shoulders once again.

Despite this, Hiruzen was not as dismayed as most believed to have to take up the mantle of Hokage for a second term; he loved serving the people of Konoha. Although, the Sandaime had no delusions as to what his retaking the position was meant to be: a placeholder for the future Godaime Hokage, whoever he or she may be.

His musings were cut short by a light thud resounding in the quiet office that signified one of his ANBU had arrived to make a report, _'Anything to distract me from this grunt-work, I suppose,'_ Hiruzen thought in relief, "Ah, Inu-san, something to report?" He asked as the dog-masked ANBU looked almost unsure of his next few words.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Inu said hesitantly, "It seems that an unusual discovery was made earlier this evening by Uzumaki Naruto."

Hearing Naruto's name and knowing that nothing concerning that boy was ever simple, Hiruzen immediately triggered his highest-powered privacy seal with a slight application of chakra to a spot under his desk. His normally wrinkled face then grew even more so as he wondered what could rattle Inu-san, known to him as Hatake Kakashi, who was usually as unflappable as anyone not named Uchiha Itachi.

"Naruto found a boy lying unconscious in the forest just outside of Konoha proper. The boy appeared to have traveled a great distance and collapsed. Naruto found him approximately 11 hours after he fell unconscious and brought him back to the village 30 minutes ago." Inu said uncertain as to how his leader would react to the next tidbit of information.

"While I'm glad for the boy's discovery and hopeful for Naruto making a new friend, something tells me that there is something more than simply updating me on Naruto's misadventures that brought you to my office tonight, Inu-san." Hiruzen stated in a warm, yet impatient tone, imploring Inu-san to get to the heart of the matter.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Inu said not missing his Kage's cue to get to the point, "The clothes that the recovered boy were wearing resembled those worn in Kumogakure…He also has crimson hair, violet eyes and a white swirl on his back. These traits along with a pending blood test should irrefutably mark him as a full-blooded Uzumaki."

Hiruzen's sharp eyes shot open in shock at the new development. If certain individuals within the village, let alone the public were made privy to the information that he had just been given, it could set in motion a variety of different chains of events, of which almost none would end well.

Imagining Danzo catching wind of this in any manner sent an involuntary shiver down the Sandaime's spine as he allowed himself a moment for this information to sink in.

Deciding on a plan of action to run some preemptive damage control, Hiruzen looked up at Kakashi with eyes smoldering with the intent to not allow himself to fail Naruto in this respect. He'd already done so too many times in the past, "Inu, I want you to find those boys, keep them safe from the villagers and bring them to me so that I can speak with them. Also, I'd appreciate if you make it quick, as I'd rather not know what the civilians are willing to do to two seven year olds tonight of all nights."

Kakashi nodded and **Shunshined** (: Body Flicker) out of the Sandaime's sight with a quickly uttered "Hai Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen took another slow drag of his trademark brown pipe before exhaling slowly and taking another glance at the Yondaime's picture up on the wall of his office, "Something tells me Kami's going to be smiling on your son for once, Minato. And if He won't, I'll just have to give the boy a nudge in the right direction. I owe the three of you at least that much, don't you agree?" He asked the picture. He received the silence that he was expecting as a response, but this silence seemed to be accompanied by a much more approving stare from the ghost of his past looking at him from behind the glass and wooden frame.

~ North side of Konoha- With Naruto and Daichi ~

The two boys shuffled from building to building, ducking into an empty alley each time they came across one on their trek to Naruto's home. Following Naruto's snail's pace of a lead, Daichi took his time familiarizing himself with the new hidden village he found himself in.

He noticed that modest, one-story homes and small shops surrounded the dirt path they were running down. It seemed to be an insulated civilian community within the village as he noticed every kind of shop one could find in a hidden village except for a shinobi weapons and wares shop. Oddly enough, the neighborhood looked deserted and showed no signs of anyone returning any time soon.

After catching the attention of his blonde running mate, Daichi vocalized his concern, "This place looks like a ghost town. Where are all of the people, Naruto…and why are you still holding my arm? Weird."

Said blonde tensed up momentarily at the mention of the villagers, but answered the question despite it being the least excited Daichi had seen his relative about talking in the short time he'd known him, "Oh, that. Yeah, they're all at the Kyuubi festival on the other side of the village. We probably won't run into any people on the way to my place or for the rest of the night for that matter. This thing tends to run well into the night, so I guess we can take our time and walk the rest of the way." Naruto said not noticing Daichi's anxious expression at the mention of the legendary tailed beast.

"They have a whole festival dedicated to the Kyuubi here? What for?" Daichi replied and then proceeded to tilt his head confusedly as Naruto stopped walking to gawk at him as if he'd just grown a tail and a second head, "What?" Daichi asked testily.

"You mean you don't know?"

"Would I have asked about it if I did?" Daichi deadpanned.

"Err, I guess not. Sorry, it's just common knowledge around here what it's about, so I'm not used to having to explain it. Basically, the Kyuubi attacked the village seven years ago today. It hurt a lot of people and smashed the village up pretty bad until the Yondaime Hokage arrived," At the mention of his hero, Naruto puffed his chest out a bit and began regaling Daichi with the story of his hero's greatest triumph, "The Yondaime beat that furry jerk back into whatever hole it crawled out of, but he died while doing it. So, now we have a big bash every year in his honor to celebrate what he did for us. Coolest part is it happened the day I was born, so it was like I had a front row seat even if I don't remember it at all." Naruto bragged as he gave his newly discovered relative the rundown of one of his favorite stories about the village.

Naruto had been amazed at the heroics of the Yondaime when he'd first stumbled upon an adult telling that story and a few others of the Yondaime Hokage's greatest hits to a few kids around his age in the park a few years back. Rather than share in Naruto's round of hero worship, Daichi seemed to be mulling the details of the story over as though something were amiss.

' _That ending doesn't hold water from how I'm told villages handle holding onto the bijuu. There's no way any village would just shoo one out of town, let alone the most powerful of the nine. So, where did the Kyuubi go after that battle?'_ As Daichi prepared to voice his query, bot boys were stopped cold by a shadowy figure in a mask with spiky silver hair that landed in front of them.

"Uzumaki Naruto, you and your friend here have been summoned by Hokage-sama. Please come with me so that I may escort you to the Hokage Tower." The ANBU droned in a bored tone.

Both boys looked at each other and shrugged before turning back to the ANBU, "Well, now that I think about it, I was originally supposed to be taking Daichi to meet Jiji before heading home anyway, so we may as well go with Inu-san." Naruto stated compliantly, while Daichi added, "And I have no clue where anything is in this maze of a village, so I'm just along for the ride. Are we supposed to get there by roof hopping like you? Because I can't do that yet and have no desire to play the trial and error game of learning it on an empty stomach and little sleep."

Inu seemed to brighten considerably as he supplied helpfully, "Actually, I've got that covered," He said before disappearing only to reappear behind both boys and pick them up by the back of their shirts eliciting an indignant "Oi!" from them both.

With that, Inu and the two boys disappeared from sight with a leaf Shunshin.

~ Hokage Tower- With Kakashi, Naruto and Daichi ~

After a quick but rather…bumpy ride across the village, the two boys and their escort finally stood outside of the office of the most powerful man in the country. Naruto, having been in the presence of the Sandaime before and being his surrogate grandson, wasn't nervous in the least about busting the tall, wooden doors down and barging into his office.

Daichi was of a decidedly different mindset about standing in front of the Hokage, even if it was at the man's own request. Hell, the fact that he was specifically requested ratcheted the meeting up several notches higher on his 'Oh Shit-o-meter.' What the hell would someone that powerful want with him aside from the whole 'intruding on his village' thing? He was a kid! What was he going to do, raze the place to the ground?

…Well, he could if necessary, but there was no way of anyone in Konoha knowing that yet. He'd been there all of half an hour and his secret could've possibly already been compromised? _'What a shitty way to be found out.'_ Daichi declared mentally as he braced himself for the line of questioning he expected from the village leader when the doors were pushed open slowly by the ANBU that had ushered (see: dragged kicking and screaming) them to the office building.

Daichi slowly trudged towards his presumed fate behind Naruto, who hadn't looked more at ease than he did standing in his Kage's office since he'd met him. Seriously, what was up with that? This geezer could kill all three of them in fewer than 6 seconds with the rubber stamp he was using to place his seal on some official document as they entered. He'd probably kill them quicker armed with just the paper.

He was either the sweetest old man on the face of the earth where Naruto was concerned, or the best actor this side of Yuki Fujikaze and Daichi was betting on the latter.

"Ah, good to see you boys," The Sandaime started as he finally gave his full attention to the three that had entered his office moments ago, "I was wondering when Inu would arrive along with you two." He said as he graced the two of them with a disarming grandfatherly smile.

"I'm actually glad you called for us, Jiji! I was going to be coming here anyway. I have something huge to tell you!" Naruto beamed, returning his Kage's smile with a broad grin of his own.

Hiruzen picked up his favorite pipe and began to light it before hesitating and thinking better of it in the presence of a couple of seven year olds. Being unable to control his urge to suck ash with kids in the room was a sign of a poor role model in his eyes so he sighed and stowed it away in a drawer for later. "You don't say? Well, what exactly do you have for me, my boy?" Hiruzen queried while subtly making a hand seal under his desk to trigger his office's privacy seals.

Positively ecstatic at finally being able to show off his newest discovered family, Naruto pulled a scraggly redheaded boy about his age to the front of his desk for Hiruzen to see, "I'd like you to meet someone, Jiji. This is Daichi. Uzumaki Daichi."

In other words, the first living full-blooded Uzumaki that both Hiruzen and Kakashi had seen since Kushina was alive and standing right in front of them like a red-headed unicorn. Naruto continued speaking animatedly for his much quieter relative, "He came here from another village and I actually met him while I was outside of the village for a bit," Naruto admitted before remembering that he wasn't actually supposed to be outside of the village gates. Ever. So he took advantage of the two adults still going through the first half of his info dump and sped past that little fact, "And he was actually face down in Konoha Forest when I found him. Apparently he passed out after searching for the village as long as he did. Either way, I've got family! Me! This is the best day of my life, -ttebayo!" Naruto finished with a flourish, allowing his emotions to get the best of him and trigger his verbal tic at the end of his explanation.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Well, shit. What were Hiruzen and Kakashi supposed to say to that? How were they supposed to reconcile themselves with the thought of the one of the last remnants of a clan buried in the annals of history suddenly falling into their laps? Not to mention that the extermination and dispersal of said clan was indisputably the greatest calamity to befall any of Konoha's few allies under Hiruzen's initial term as Hokage. Given the congenial relationship Konoha had had with Uzushiogakure prior to its fall and both his and Kakashi's personal relationships with one of Uzu's survivors in Kushina, it was no wonder this revelation hit them both far too close to home to immediately shrug off despite already heavily suspecting it beforehand.

What was Daichi supposed to add to what Naruto had already let them in on? He knew for certain one thing that he most certainly would not be adding to Naruto's description of him. Aside from that, Daichi was unsure what to think of the contemplative look on the Hokage's face as he was sure as hell that he hadn't made it to where he was by being caught without an immediate response enough to make a face like that on a regular basis. So apparently his last name did carry weight in across the continent the way that his father told him that it did; even more so now than in the good old days because it was spoken of in hushed, fearful whispers, whereas now it would only evoke pure astonishment due to how rare a breed they had become.

After taking about a minute longer than he would've liked to formulate a response in the face of Naruto's news, Hiruzen finally spoke up, "Well…that certainly is some huge news indeed, Naruto-kun. If that is the case, was there any particular reason that you were seeking out our village, Daichi-san?" The Sandaime questioned, as he was interested in hearing the youngster's reasoning for inadvertently infiltrating his village.

As the moment he had been dreading finally arrived, Daichi looked up at the more serious and intently focused 'Kami no Shinobi' as he prepared to answer, "Hai, Sandaime-sama. I was in the midst of running from home and I'd heard of one of the big five villages that wasn't currently openly hunting down those with my family name. I figured if I had the choice between the village that would be strong enough to keep me safe from another shinobi village and have the whole 'Not currently hunting my family down like dogs' thing in my favor and everywhere else, then that's not much of a choice at all." He decided on 'currently' because any village could change their m.o. at any given time for any nonsensical reason; reasons that were often subject to change on the village leader's whims.

Daichi knew that and that logic resonated with him on the most personal level possible. His former home had made sure of that.

So, as long as the Sandaime didn't suddenly develop the urge to turn him into a heavily restricted stud for breeding and then siphon the blood out of his body like in some crappy vampire b-movie, this was the only reasonable place to seek sanctuary on the entire continent.

Seemingly taking the boy's words at face value, Hiruzen inspected his condition and could tell that he had indeed come a long way from before halting and slightly narrowing his eyes at a detail in Daichi's explanation that he had almost glossed over, "Also, I heard you mention something about protecting you from another of the shinobi villages in Elemental Nations. Which of the are you referring to, and why would they want so badly to hunt down a seven-year-old child?" He asked, genuinely curious about why any village would even consider testing the rather treacherous waters of the current cease-fire amongst the villages of the Elemental Nations for the sake of one child.

…That is until he thought of another Uzumaki child that he and his forces would move Heaven and Earth to keep out of the wrong hands and away from anyone who would use him against them (see: literally any other village, shinobi or otherwise).

Hiruzen felt all 62 of his years in that moment as he considered the possible backlash of being in such a situation. He wanted to believe his chakra-enhanced jump to the most complicated possible conclusion to be an impossible circumstance, but 50+ years in his line of work taught him to never underestimate Kami's cruel sense of humor when it came to the ninja populace.

Shaking those thoughts from his head as he heard Daichi utter "Kumogakure no Sato" barely above a whisper, the second-term Kage determined that even if his reckless speculation held any semblance of truth, he'd have to find out at another time as he had more pressing matters to attend to. Things were bad and quickly becoming worse with the Uchiha. They were becoming even more contentious and willingly isolating themselves from the village proper with the exception of Itachi Uchiha and his family members that were either ANBU themselves or tasked with shifts on the Konoha Police Force.

Hiruzen had too much on his plate to make room for a possible international incident with the second most warmongering village on the continent, thank you very much.

Considering all of this, the Sandaime listened astutely as the boy began to speak, "Well, Sandaime-sama, my family members have been getting…snatched up a lot ever since our home in Uzushiogakure was destroyed." Daichi mentioned with Hiruzen nodding his head as he was well aware of this, "And among us, there were some with abilities even more special than the others. I happen to have one that has never been seen within the Uzumaki Clan in our entire recorded history. It's a rare Kekkei Genkai (bloodline limit) called Yoton (Lava Release). That's why I ran as far as I did. If I hadn't, they would've locked me up in chakra draining shackles until I was old enough for them to just harvest the DNA they needed and then dispose of me." Daichi explained further as Hiruzen studied him for any sort of deceit.

Daichi hadn't told any lies. He had given the Hokage nothing but the truth. Not the whole truth, but close enough to try to rationalize why he'd be so important to Kumogakure. If there were any two lessons Daichi had learned from the man that raised him that he wouldn't be forgetting any time soon, they were that information was power to a shinobi and that half-truths were a ninja's best friend.

Daichi held the Sandaime's stare for as long as possible until he slowly began losing his nerve and faltering under the hardened shinobi's gaze. Everything- the boys, Inu, and even time itself- seemed to be awaiting Hiruzen's signal to be at ease.

Hiruzen, after silently scrutinizing the two of them for an agonizing three minutes, figured that he'd tap-danced on their nerves enough for one night as he breathed out, "I've come to a decision. Daichi-san," Hiruzen said causing sad boy to snap to attention even more so than he had been, "Seeing as you have all of the physical attributes but no proof otherwise of your Uzumaki lineage, we will have to run a blood test on you alongside a sample of Naruto's own to be certain." He said in a tone that made it clear that this was not a request.

Daichi nodded stiffly and continued to listen to the Sandaime, "I will also grant your request and allow you to stay here in Konoha and you will also be living with Naruto as he is your only known family her-"

"YATTA!" Naruto cheered as he struck all sorts of victory poses before he remembered where he was as he turned shamefacedly back towards the smirking visage of his Kage with a tomato-red face, "Uh, sorry, Jiji." He said lamely while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"No harm, no foul, my boy. Now, as I was saying, Daichi-san will be allowed to stay with you; however, you two won't be staying in Naruto's apartment."

At that, both boys seemed confused and one seemed far more comfortable verbally expressing that confusion than the other, "But Jiji, why can't we stay there? And if we won't live there, where are we going to go? I don't really have money for a new place after all." Naruto whined. Honestly, he didn't have money for the place he had been staying at either since being booted from the village orphanage two years ago. It was only by the tender mercy of the Hokage that he even had a roof over his head in the first place.

"I understand your concern Naruto, but that place is barely going to be big enough for you soon, let alone two of you. Besides, I don't know how comfortable I'd feel leaving two seven year olds alone to fend for themselves in that area." Hiruzen said. _'I'm honestly not too proud of myself for allowing Naruto to stay there with no official guardian for so long.'_

Hiruzen kept those thoughts too himself as he looked up to Inu who had been standing silently off to the side guarding the entrance of the room, "Now, as for where you'll be staying, I'd like for you two to formally meet my top ANBU Captain, Inu-san. Please remove your mask and introduce yourself, Inu-san."

The ANBU hesitated for the briefest of moments before turning to his sworn leader and reaching for his mask while asking, "Are you sure, Hokage-sama?"

"Quite sure. Now, give them a proper introduction if you don't mind, Kakashi."

"Hai," Inu said as he watched Naruto stare in interest while Daichi tried to pretend that he wasn't as interested as Naruto in what was behind his mask when that couldn't have been further from the truth. He took immense joy in seeing the two boys excitement be deflated by him removing his animal mask to reveal…that the entire lower portion of his face was obscured by another mask and his left eye covered by his hitai-ate. Both items were the same midnight black as his ANBU uniform. However, what the first mask's removal did reveal was a single eye that contained a coal black pupil.

"Yo." The now named Kakashi started rather lamely, "My name is Hatake Kakashi, Jonin of Konohagakure and I have no idea why I'm telling you this." He said as he turned towards his Kage looking for some sort of explanation.

Hiruzen most certainly did not let him down as he looked to the boys, "Naruto, Daichi, meet Hatake Kakashi, your new guardian." Hiruzen said as he wished he'd had some way to see through Kakashi's mask, as he was sure that the reaction to that tidbit of information would be one for the ages.

"That's right. I'm your new guar-…whuuuut?" Kakashi droned as the imprint of his slack jaw could be seen through his mask. The announcement had clearly caught him off guard just as it had the boys.

Naruto immediately began imagining the positives of having a parental figure as he completely overlooked the fact that his new guardian seemed to want nothing to do with this new responsibility, "Wait, so I get a brother, a new place to live, and I get a parent? Old Man, where have you been all my life?" Naruto dropped to his knees in what could've been seen as exaggerated gratitude at the blessing he'd received had it come from anyone other than himself.

Daichi just shook his head at Naruto's antics. Between their initial meeting and Naruto's theatrical response to the most recent good news, Daichi hoped that Naruto had met his theatrical emotional outburst quota for the day.

The poor kid had no idea.

"Wait a minute, Hokage-sama. Isn't there anyone else to take this job?" Seriously, Kakashi didn't know the first thing about raising kids! He was only good at taking care of one person: himself. And he hadn't exactly been doing a bang-up job at that either. He had been his only responsibility since his father left him alone as a kid. Most of the only other people he'd been responsible for that actually knew him by something more than his ANBU codename had died on his watch one way or another. After that he'd made sure to wrap himself in a cocoon of cold detachment so as not to feel the emptiness that overcame him the first time he stood in front of Konoha's memorial stone staring at his teammates and sensei's names ever again.

And now he was being saddled with a couple of kids: his sensei's son and one of said boy's only living relatives. Why? Because Kami clearly got His kicks by railroading the silver-haired career killer over and over again, that's why.

Hiruzen took his ANBU commander's displeasure with a grain of salt: he had expected this response after all, "No, Kakashi. I specifically chose you for this task. There is no one else in that I can entrust these children to that is powerful enough to protect them from whatever or whoever may come for them while also keeping the Council from causing a scene once the news is broken."

Kakashi began to mull over every available replacement for him in this task and, after speeding past three names, began grasping at straws to find some sap- err, caring patriot to take this task off of his hands. "What about you Hokage-sama? You're practically his grandfather already."

Hiruzen slowly shook his head, "While I do love Naruto-kun like a grandson and I am sure that Daichi-san is a good boy as well, I don't have the time to adhere to my duties and raise two boys at the same time. I'm not sure if you've noticed Kakashi, but I have an entire village and military force to run. This isn't the type of job that leaves you time to play catch, tag, or any other game other than war games. Believe me, I know and I know because I've had to rear two boys while balancing the weight of the village on my shoulders. To borrow a phrase from someone much younger than myself, I've been there, done that and gotten the t-shirt." Hiruzen dryly explained to his ANBU captain.

"Well, what about Itachi-san?" Kakashi began looking to shake this responsibility no matter who he had to steamroll in the process, "He's certainly strong enough, and he has a brother their age as well. I'm sure he has more experience dealing with kids than I do."

"I'm sure he does as well considering he _still is one himself_ , Kakashi. Not to mention the fact that sending two young children into a home full of Sharingan; Sharingan, by the way, that we aren't sure that we can trust at the moment aside from those in the head of the _teenager_ that you are recommending I assign to watch two children alongside his own brother. Now, stop grasping at straws and I'll pretend that you, a fully-grown man, didn't just ask that I assign the task of raising two seven-year olds to a 12-year-old. He's a gifted 12-year-old, but a 12-year-old nonetheless. Are we finished yet, Kakashi?" Hiruzen asked knowing that The Cyclops had to be feeling annoyed with himself at trying to pull that nonsense in his panicked state.

Kakashi looked the Hokage straight in his eyes unflinching as he prepared to unleash the last kunai in his pouch in his final desperate attempt to get out of taking custody of these boys, "Maito Ga-"

"Kakashi," Hiruzen started with eyes like sharpened steel trained on silver-haired man in front of him, "I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night. Neither were you. YOU wouldn't let Gai raise a child, or, at the very least, you wouldn't give him one to raise on purpose. YOU wouldn't let Gai raise a wild animal. Are YOU going to sentence these kids to that?"

Kakashi slumped in defeat at that. Kakashi wouldn't allow Gai a pet rock if it really came down to it, lest he chisel into it a depiction of his "Nice Guy smile" and polished it until the teeth gleamed in the sun just like his. The thought made him shudder. He was a cruel man when he was desperate, Kakashi realized.

"Fine, Hokage-sama. I have no other cards to play, no other offers to make," Kakashi said as he tilted his head downward to look at the two boys in front of him, "So pack your bags, or bag in your case, Daichi. It's time to go home." Kakashi said as Hiruzen smiled at the seemingly heart-warming scene in front of him until Kakashi slammed on the proverbial brakes and brought that feeling to a screeching halt.

"We're going home because I need alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol, because that is how I deal with my problems. I'd usually read while I drink, but if I get enough sake in me, I can just pretend that I'm a book. And tonight, I'm going to get so drunk that I'll black out due to the blood rushing to my head after spending 2 hours bent over and staring at my chest trying to read myself. Welcome to my life, boys. This is your life now too." Kakashi said in an eerily cheery tone with his signature eye smile.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Daichi and Naruto could only alternate between staring at their new guardian that Naruto seemed to be much less excited about having in this moment, and staring at each other with puzzled expressions. They were trying to convince themselves that he wasn't serious. He couldn't be serious.

Hiruzen only needed one thought to sum up what he'd just heard and what he felt about knowing Kakashi was unhinged enough to attempt to do just as he said and get pissy drunk with two impressionable young boys having sideline seats to his sprint towards alcohol poisoning.

'…Minato, Kushina…please forgive me for this.'

Hiruzen could have sworn he'd heard a faint shout of "Like hell!" from somewhere far off that sounded distinctly like Kushina's voice.

Some time in the future, he still wouldn't admit to having ignored that angry screech.

* * *

And that's a chapter…I think. Still working out the whole "finding when to end the chapter" thing. So, Naruto has a living relative and Kakashi has kids…the only way to make that worse would be to make Anko and Gai full-time babysitters while he's gone on missions…right? That aside, I've got a few decent ideas in the works for this and that will either warrant a pat on the back or a kick in the nuts when I lay them out there, so that's new and exciting.

Anyway, I'm hoping to have a lot of fun writing this and hopefully you'll have just as much fun reading it.

Now, this is a spare time affair, so I can't predict when or how often I'll update because it took me forever and a day to finally go through with this and finish off the first chapter. I'll update when I can and continue reading more and more stories like I have been, so, in the meantime and in between time, thanks for reading!

Take it easy.


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